Parodies of Human Intelligence

1. Aliens are fun.

I was walking home one day when I came upon a mule farm; so, I decided to by myself a donkey.
The donkey and I were walking when an alien came flying down in his space ship, saying,
 "Would you and the donkey like to come with me to the 'Planet of Fun'?"
The donkey and I both shook our heads up and down.
"Well," the alien replied, "jump in my ship and let's go."

Next thing you know, we're at the "Planet of Fun." It had things for people of all ages and species to do. At this time, the alien goes left, I go directly ahead, and the donkey heads to the right.

A few weeks pass with the alien and myself meeting back at the ship. We couldn't find the donkey anywhere. We got i9n the ship and flew around the planet a few times hoping to find the donkey.

He was nowhere to be found. We decided to search everywhere in Creation.

We went to different  solar systems, galaxies, universes, and dimensions.

We searched everywhere.

The bad thing was every time we arrived at a planet, it was worse than the last on we visited.

Finally,

In the worst part of all places,

we came to the worse planet of all,

And there the alien and I found what we were looking for:


I found my ass in a world of trouble.


2. Some ideas should ...


So, I was walking home and there - lo and behold - was the same mule farm.

"What the hell," I said to myself, "It can't happen twice. I'll take a chance."

So, I buy another donkey.

We're walking - with everything being copacetic - when I came upon a Verizon store.

I needed a new phone; and, I decided it was time to buy one.


I did.


Now, the donkey and I kept walking when we came upon a Tesla dealership.


Yes, Idid buy one of their cars and was driving it straight home.

The donkey was riding in the back seat and the phone was in the passenger side.



Finally, I make it home when the donkey started looking at the phone and moving his hoof.


"He must want to learn how to use the phone," I was thinking.


"Do you want to learn how to use the phone?" I asked him.


He shook his head up and down.



Next thing you know, he was texting his friends back at the farm, telling them everything.


He then taps on the phone a few times and shows it to me.


"Would you teach me how to drive the car?


plz?"


I looked at him and said,

"Yes."


So, after a few lessons, he is doing the same thing as humans do: Driving and texting at the same time.


I thought about it and had an idea.

"What if I could teach other donkeys to do the same thing
and had it patented," I thought.

I told the donkey.

He thought it was a great idea .

"Get in the car, I said, "We're going to Washington, D.C. to the patent office."


We took off with him telling all of his friends about it.


We finally made it to the patent office and walked inside.


I told the lady at the office my idea.

"No," she said, I am not going to patent your idea."

"What?" I said.

"What?" The donkey typed on his phone.


"Why not?" I asked.

"Because, " she said,

"It's a bad idea to let a smart ass talk on a smart phone while driving a smart car."